Busy As A Bee

So it has happened, I mean I never expected it to happen so fast honestly. I was expecting at least 10 more years, but my child tends to be out of the norm and surprise me. 

Cohen has fallen in love. So he claims. Her name is Lily and she is his girlfriend and they like to drink out of the water fountain together and play “store”. Where he is the clerk and she is the customer who wants to buy an iron. 

So, after I had initially heard all of this ranting from my oh so smart three year old I decided I had to do some investigating. I promise I’m not a creep for a mom. So, this morning when I dropped Cohen off at school to my surprise as soon as we entered the door I heard someone say “Lily!” (this made my job so much easier). Then I saw a cute little girl with brown hair, no bigger than Cohen, come from behind the check in desk, along with the administrator of Cohen’s school. 

Admin: Well hello Cohen!

Me: Cohen say hello.

Cohen: ….

Admin: Lily look its Cohen, you two really hit it off the other day.

Me: Oh this is Lily. Cohen told me all about how you two played the other day.

Admin: Yes, Lily just loved him. Unfortunately she starts kindergarten in two weeks since she just turned 5 and she won’t be here anymore.

The rest of the conversation is irrelevant. Mostly because I wasn’t listening because all I could think about was what this meant for my child. Lily would be gone and Cohen, as soft hearted as he is, would most likely be very upset by this. His first love, and she would be gone in a matter of days. 

I know, most of you are probably like “He is 3. He has no clue what love is,” and you are right to an extent. Cohen has no idea that he will not be with Lily forever or even what it really feels like to love someone in that sense. However, he does have a small clue. When I asked him what love meant the other day, he replied, “It means Mom. Toby. Noni (his grandma). Papas. Uncle Jacob. and Lily. So sure he didn’t know what love was completely, but Lily was in a very small elite group of people who shared Cohen. This group could automatically put Cohen in a good mood no matter what the problem, because we were the ones he loves. He didn’t love silly things like trucks or bears, he loved us, and part of me didn’t want him to lose his first crush. Heartbreak is a scary thing. 

Have I mentioned that we have a guinea pig named Lenny? Or a cat named Smokey who I tend to call Smokes 99% of the time? 

Really, this pet rant has been coming for some time now…mostly because this cat, whom I have had for 2 weeks is all kinds of disaster. Don’t get me wrong..I like her a lot…when she is sleeping, and not on my bed. So what are the problems one might wonder?

[WARNING: This post goes on to discuss shit, if you have a weak stomach I suggest you stop reading right now.]

Several things could be said as to what the problem with her is..

1. She has nails and she tends to enjoy using them, preferably on my new bed set. 

2. She likes to attack my leg when I enter my room.

3. She is extremely sneaky.

4. Shit. Shit. Shit.

All of the following reasons are acceptable and self-explanatory except for reason number 4. So we shall do the classy thing and discuss it. She shits…a lot, like 7 times on average a day. Okay? Her shit stinks. I mean dreadfully awful…evacuate the premises kind of stink. Okay? She sharts all the time. IM SERIOUS. This is the main reason she is not allowed on my bed. Example?

The first night I had her she was just laying beside me..her butt turned towards the wall and out of no where I hear this dreadfully awful fart. I will not lie, I accused my child at first. “Co did you seriously just pass gas? Go to the bathroom.” “No, mom that not me.” Much to my surprise I then turned my head only to see shit all over my wall…and the cat was still asleep. Immediately I put her up and washed my wall. My first thought was, well she is probably just sick, she will get over this. However I was sadly mistaken. 

Two days later, after many more splatter incidents, all of which took place in her litter box, but sometimes managed to be on the wall behind her littler box, she was once again laying in bed with me…this time she was facing tobys pillow (hehe!). Ill be honest…I thought she could control her gas and go to her litter box when such things happened, she can’t. She had another explosion of shit, this time all over tobys pillow, of course me being the sweetheart I am, ran into the kitchen and told Toby to come to our room immediately. As he did, he was just about to lay down (I had not told him because I wanted to see how close he pays attention to things) he realized there was “dirt” on his pillow. Dirt, my ass. However, at the time I was at an uncontrollable laughter and just yelled “SHIT!” and he was like “Did you seriously think I wouldn’t notice you had put dirt on my pillow? But really, dirt is the best prank you got?” The laughter was still continuing. “You cant wipe it off.” “Watch me.” “No, Toby that is SHIT on your pillow from Smokes not dirt. Smell it.” Quickly after my statement his pillow was in the washer and Smokey was banned from our bed. 

So when people ask to hold our cat I generally have to tell them to watch out in case she has gas. I have two pets…a cat who cant control her shit and a morbidly obese guinea pig that is bigger than our cat. 

This is normal, right?

So, we finally found a house and made an offer. Best part? With in two hours they had accepted the offer. :)

Is it fair to say im excited?!

Today my lovely three year old had to embark on a trip to my school to sign a bunch of papers for financial aid because all of his sitters had other activities. Needless to say, I did not mind…I mean sure it was a very important trip and the deciding factor in if I was going to be accepted or not, but I expected great behavior like always.

When we arrived at the office the secretary immediately greeted us. However, my child tends to share way to much information with strangers. As she greeted him he immediately replied with…”Last night my mom let me drink punch, watch pops (what he calls fireworks), and then she made it rain.” Made it rain…what he likes to call a shower. Yes, he did take a shower last night.

However, this secretary was not all that old and immediately gave me an awkward look. My reply? Lil Wayne Swag. My attempt at humor, except she did not laugh.

Needless to say the rest of the trip was extremely awkward.

So after several months of filling out a shit load of paper to either be accepted or rejected into LPN school, I finally got everything taken care of, financial aid and all, and am OFFICIALLY a student of the 2011-2012 LPN School of Southeast Missouri. 

This my friends, is a major accomplishment.

I start August 1…so be prepared for several rants about awkward body parts and my nursing responsibilities.

Should be entertaining.

Life is busy busy busy as far as house hunting goes. So far we have looked at 2 houses and we go to look at number 3 tomorrow.

We will then be making our decision as to where we will be living.

Crazy, right? Owning my own home. 

Thoughts so far?

House 1: Extremely small and enough wall paper to gag a person.

House 2: LOVE LOVE LOVE and in all honesty I am crossing my fingers that this house will be our final decision, mostly because I cant picture anything being better.

House 3:..Well we will see tomorrow. :)

Hello all :)

So…life has gotten quite insane and I felt like I needed somewhere to share the things that tend to make my day or tend to interrupt my day and make it the pile of shit it may be. Either way, its a new adventure for me…and I needed someone to share it with. 

E n j o y!